#thoughts from my brain

[katerinaaqu]

You know...the urge of having Achilles have romantic feelings for Patroclus but Patroclus not reciprocating them (or potentially not even knowing it) and loving him as deeply as Achilles does, just platonically is way too great and delicious not to use! Like the potential!

Achilles having different emotions than Patroclus and the way he clings on him all the time when they play or when they spar...he catches some glance of Patroclus or tries to be close to him, feel his warmth in his desperate love that is not recruited in a romantic or sexual way. Desperately dreams and wishes for it and he tries to fantasize it and yet he always feels happy when he is with Patroclus and desperate when he is afar.

He burns in jealousy every time Patroclus speaks to someone else especially women or other men close to his age. After some time he starts to provide women and girls for Patroclus (slaves or others) because if Patroclus were to get a lover it should be his choice. Making sure there is no romance involved. Making sure he won't lose Patroclus to anyone else. Causing his edgy reactions being fueled by the never satisfied passion.

And yet there is no way this would happen given how he is also the most precious person to Patroclus regardless of romance.

Not sure if this will be the line I would go with but it does create some intrigue and room for stories 🤔 all the classical "fully platonic" or "fully romantic" relationships are still on my table. This is just a random thought I had hehe 😜 just imagine the potential!

[hopefulsapphic]

i'm an early seasons steve harrington apologist. sorry. he was not a bad person he was not a bad boyfriend he was literally just 17

[monk-of-figaro]

Sabin's Last Thoughts

I'm sorry, I have to share my heartbreak. This is heartbreaking. Don't read further if your heart is at risk of breaking. Consult your doctor before attempting to suffer through heartbreak.

To preamble an unnecessarily excessive amount, a few years ago kwhazit did an AMAZING, step-by-step, detail-filled, context-providing, wonderfully thorough translation of FF6. Like, the entire game: dialog, attack/item/spell names, monster data… more information than you'd find even in an official strategy guide. Should they ever read this, I hope they know how much I appreciate all of the work they put into it, and it's quickly become one of my primary reference sources when looking up something about the game.

Since they included translations of everything, they also included translations of events that may not usually be seen in the game, such as when you fail at a critical event.

FOR A HEARTBREAKING EXAMPLE, it's possible for Sabin to die in the World of Ruin if Celes does not rescue the child from the collapsing house in Tzen quickly enough.

The incredible @wsancho wrote an excellent post on this particular event and how the "failure" option was softened from the original concept (again, consult your doctor before reading their post about twin death).

In the final version of the game, failing to rescue the child in time results in a "fade to black" Game Over screen. Nothing is shown, only implied (thank god).

What I didn't know until recently, [no] thanks to kwhazit, was that Sabin has last lines before the house collapses on him.

The two translations definitely have different emotional weight to them. To me, Woolsey's translation's conveys Sabin meeting his demise with confidence (dare I even say optimism?) that Edgar will continue fighting to rebuild the broken world.

Meanwhile, the original Japanese text (through kwhazit's translation) feels more layered to me, like he is pushing himself to the very last moment, is angry at himself for not being stronger, and is feeling regret that he won't be able to help Edgar anymore.

So, not only does Sabin die, but his final thoughts are always about Edgar. 😭💔

Outside of the game, I think this would be true for Sabin in any scenario, even if he lives to be 94 years old and dies peacefully in his sleep.

And although I love the idea that Edgar's final thoughts would be about Sabin, I'm actually not sure they would be. Again, as wsancho points out in one of her amazing braindump posts, Edgar tends to focus on the welfare of his kingdom above all else. Because of this, I think that his final thoughts could be about Figaro and its future. Perhaps it depends on how well he thinks the kingdom would do without him.

None of this matters, of course, because as far as I'm concerned, both brothers live forever and ever and never die or suffer and are always happy and thriving END OF STORY.

[owllover2319]

sending my knight (my boyfriend) on a quest (getting me soup) to save the kingdom (me recovering from a cold)

[vikramsharma007]

[gingarobokaiser9000-go]

I've never expected wriolette to hit me as hard as it did. Mostly because I couldn't bring myself to care about Neuvilette throughout 4.0. I'm still not a big fan of him, but holy fuck is their dynamic with Wrio exactly what I love.

Like, even before you get to see them in the same room, you already have Neu's caution/simping speech about how cool and perceptive Wrio is, and then you get Wrio's speech about how much he trusts us just because we are aligned with Neu. The explicit mutual respect and trust they didn't even try to hide is just 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

And THEN we get to see them interacting. After all that has already been established.

What I'm trying to say, it hit me like a truck. Probably the best genshin ship since monafischl.

[torivictori]

how are you, really?

is a question i’ve been asked once a week, on thursdays each month, each year for 7 years, almost 8.

i’m turning 16, i’ve been going to therapy since i was 9, and quite honestly that probably answers the question.

i’m not okay.

it’s weird to finally feel it deep in my soul, how truly disturbed i am, because for 8 years, no matter how much i try to deny it, the answer was:

i’m not okay!

childhood depression, a baggage full of trauma, persisting guilt and thoughts that haunt me, erratic behavior, delusions, unhealthy coping mechanisms, breakdowns, sobbing— and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

oh, and a bunch of possible disorders thanks to amazing family genes too, how great.

it’s weird to know that, no it won’t get better. i’ll be like this until i’m dead.

and it’s so upsetting to know how much worse it will or could get.

because really, what am I supposed to do? who would employ me? who would work for me? who would want to me around me?

now. at almost 16 years old, i’ve found strange comfort in my mental state, as if i don’t want to get better.

i won’t get better, certainly not with this healthcare system.

what’s wrong with it you may wonder? my old therapist, an old, probably misogynistic man somehow got employed.

as i sat in a chair, sobbing to him, saying i wanted to kill myself and telling about how much i was going through, his response was ‘it’s not a mental problem, you’re just a woman, women are like that.’ three days later i tried taking my own life.

i’m not okay.

i’ll live through so much more, i could probably write a book.

at least i’ll make some money from it.

[feyd-meowtha]

Had a conversation with an American yesterday and had a real hard time explaining why I know so much about Wyoming...

[katerinaaqu]

I feel that the moment of corruption in Nina in the movie "Black Swan" is really Achilles-coded!

No hear me out!

If you remember my previous analysis in regards to Achilles, especially his personality here:

or my Statius analysis for his sudden erotic urge when he sees the daughters of Lycomedes (and how that purity of his was almost animalestic, as if Achilles was as innocent as a wild creature of the forest at that point. Pure but also untamable, uncontrollable, unpredictable):

Achilles lived a shielded life. "Like a princess" if we allow the modern term. He was even taken away from civilization to remain pure and pure he remained.

Almost unnaturally pure

Achilles lived without social intrigue, without the darkness of what you would consider human society. He was introduced to it very early but also very suddenly when he entered the war or whatever came before it. Nina in the film "Black Swan" was living the life that one could consider perfect for her. She was winded up by her mother to be "her sweet little girl", to be pure, heardworking...

To be "Perfect"...

And then Nina is introduced way too suddenly to darkness of a soul. One that a person naturally experiences throughout their lives and slowly make peace with, Nina was introduced way too suddenly, just like a person that never swam before being thrown to the deepest and stormiest waters without any protection. Similarly Achilles was taken from the protective environments and was thrown to the war. The war he himself chose, like Nina chose to push herself to the limits to achieve her "perfection" to be "the one". Achilles in one way DID choose to go to war. He chose glory of death over life and purity and yet that was what corrupted him.

Disappointments, intrigue, violence, loss, sorrow and many many more where introduced to him too fast and completely consumed him. When he lost Patroclus he just kept on falling till he became a shadow of himself. His emotions consumed him. His darkness, the very own darkness that every person has and makes peace with, became almost like an auto-immune disease or a cancer that consumed him. He had no weapons to fight it. Hence his fall...as per this one:

And Achilles became something he never expected to be

something he was never supposed to be

And THIS was the reason of his hubris...his fall...what his parents so frantically tried to protect him from...was carefully constructed by their actions as fate took its toll... (in one way that continued later to his legacy Neoptolemus)

It was a self-fulfilled prophecy all along

[hopefulsapphic]

torchwood really just did whatever the fuck they wanted didn't they

[monk-of-figaro]

Indirect Storytelling

@tayasigerson's recent (and amazing!) art of Sabin and Gau with Tiger Masks got me thinking about ways in which games can offer means of indirect storytelling that standard literature cannot.

I'm no expert on linguistics or the English language, so maybe "indirect storytelling" isn't the proper term. Or maybe I'm wrong about my assertion in the first place. But to me, the fact that only Sabin and Gau can equip the Tiger Mask feels like there's a character trait that is implied but never stated.

Why is it that only Sabin and Gau can equip the Tiger Mask? What is the commonality between the two that nobody else shares? What does this imply about their characters?

I have my own theories, of course - thoughts about how they both embody the idea of "wildness", both literally and figuratively; or maybe how they each have a connection to "nature" that is stronger than other party members; or maybe even their connection to each other has something to do with it - but the fact that something as simple as who can equip an item can be used to hint at character or plot elements is pretty wild, isn't it?

The Tiger Mask isn't even the only example of this in FF6. Probably the most famous example is the Memento Ring, which can only be equipped by Shadow and Relm, and to my immediate recollection is the only direct connection they share in-game. Everything else about their relationship is implied through Shadow's flashbacks (which only connect them by showing he was in Thamasa with a dog at some point in the past) and through Interceptor's uncharacteristic affection for Relm.

Because Shadow and Relm are not shown to have any real relation or connection, and in fact speak probably less than a dozen words to each other the entire game, the fact that this seemingly-random pair are the only ones who can equip the Memento Ring is really special (and easily missable). If everyone could equip the Memento Ring, it would lose its specialness, and we'd lose a key aspect of the Shadow/Relm backstory.

The Memento Ring also adds additional context by its description:

Ring blessed by departed mother's love. Prevents petrification, zombie, and instant death.

Most Relics in FF6 don't have as much lore behind them as something imbued with a "departed mother's love", so the fact that only Shadow and Relm can equip this strongly implies they each have a connection to this "departed mother". There are even fanfics (like this amazing one from @azurefishnets - A Nameless Memento) that use the Memento Ring directly as a plot element for the Shadow/Relm/Strago dynamic.

A third implication can be drawn from the fact that the Memento Ring prevents all instant-death techniques. Why is that? How and why does a departed mother's love protect against instant-death? What does that imply about the mother's own death?

In addition to the Memento Ring and the Tiger Mask, there are other items that can only be equipped by specific people. Here are a few choice examples:

Royal Crown (Edgar, Sabin)

Red Jacket (Edgar, Sabin)

Snow Scarf (Gau, Mog, Umaro)

All the "Suit" costumes, like the Moogle Suit (Strago, Relm)

Some of those make some sense - like the Royal Crown - but others are kind of open to interpretation. Maybe it makes sense that Mog and Umaro can equip the Snow Scarf, but why can Gau, and why can't anyone else?

What about the Red Jacket? Does that have some connection to royalty, or is there something else being hinted at? After all, red is not one of the Figaroan colors; it's the opposite of blue, which actually is one of the Figaroan colors. And why does it negate fire damage? Is there some connection with the desert heat?

Anyway, sorry for the rambling post. It just struck me how cool it is that gaming - and particularly FF6 - has this unique method of conveying story that is not possible with any other medium, and that's pretty cool! FF6 is also the only game that I can recall that uses equipment to convey (or imply) untold elements of the story like this.

As if I needed yet another reason to obsessively love the game so much.

[owllover2319]

"they should be at the club" no. i should be at the local queer library

[vikramsharma007]

[gingarobokaiser9000-go]

You're pretty and all, but fuck you so much, Ed. Can't "i'm just an edgy pirate" out of this one.

[lazy-box-head]

Jevil would say the most horrendous things ever then refuse to say it again just to annoy people and play dumb, just saying

Look how silly, he's doing his little dance, time to trauma dump him♡♡

[hamadisthings]

my tumblr feed is messed up im getting posts from february